From Asshole to Ally · Read my new book before it’s officially published this fall.

From Asshole to Ally · Read my new book before it’s officially published this fall.

Get the free ebook

Get the free ebook

Win The Question

TRUST SKILLS FOR PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

Contact Me

Take the trust skills quiz

Win The Question

TRUST SKILLS FOR PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

THE APPROACH

THE APPROACH

How to Earn Trust

How to Earn Trust

The short version of the operating system behind From Asshole to Ally. One insight and four skills that help ambitious professionals grow revenue, referrals, and retention.

We use these skills in almost every important client conversation. If anything here gives you something usable for your next meeting, the book and sessions go deeper. If not, you’ve spent ten minutes and lost nothing.

We use these skills in almost every important client conversation. If anything here gives you something usable for your next meeting, the book and sessions go deeper. If not, you’ve spent ten minutes and lost nothing.

Take the trust skills quiz

Bring this to your team

ON THIS PAGE

INSIGHT

It’s Not All About You

MARGIN

Margin Is Earned by Trust

SKILL 1

Ask, Don’t Answer

SKILL 2

Listen to Learn

SKILL 3

Trust Framing

SKILL 4

Moments of Trust

THE ONE INSIGHT

It’s Not All About You.

It’s Not All About You.

It’s Not All About You.

Trust is a math problem.

The most useful idea about professional trust I ever learned came as an equation. Credibility, reliability, and how well you know your client, all divided by how much it’s about you.

Ambitious professionals over-invest in credibility because it’s the easiest to measure. You can stack the top of that equation sky-high and still get cut out of the room, because everything sits on one number: self-orientation. The fix isn’t being nicer. It’s making it less about you. Less about proving your credentials, your smarts, your firm. More about your client, their thinking, and what they need.

WHAT YOU BRING

Credibility

+ Reliability

+ Client knowledge

The Asshole Factor

The Asshole Factor

HOW MUCH IT’S ABOUT YOU

The fastest way to look smart is to stop trying to.

WHY IT SHOWS UP ON THE P&L

Margin is earned by trust.

Margin is earned by trust.

Clients are no longer staying as loyal to a firm’s brand. They stay loyal to the person across the table. That is where your retention, your referrals, and your revenue get decided, one conversation at a time.

53%

53%

of B2B client loyalty comes from the experience with the professional. The company and its brand drive about 19%.

CEB (now Gartner), study of 5,000 B2B buyers

56.0

56.0

Professional Services NPS, down from 63.5 in a single year. Below 60 is the recognized risk zone for client retention.

SPI Research, Professional Services Maturity Benchmark

25–95%

25–95%

profit lift from a five-point improvement in client retention.

Bain & Company

Retention

Retention

+

Referrals

Referrals

+

Revenue

Revenue

=

Margin

Margin

THE THREE R’S

HOW TRUST BECOMES MARGIN

Five links. Your people win or lose the second one.

Five links. Your people win or lose the second one.

Credibility, reliability, and client knowledge

get you in the room.

→

↓

Unconscious self-orientation

erodes trust; client focus earns it.

→

↓

Trust

turns clients into promoters.

→

↓

Promoters

drive retention, referrals, and revenue.

→

↓

The three R’s

are your margin.

Credibility, reliability, and client knowledge are table stakes. Every competent firm has them. Your competitive advantage is earning more trust in the conversations your people have when you’re not in the room. That trust drives the three R’s: retention, referrals, and revenue.

Firms don’t grow because their people get smarter. They grow because their people get trusted.

THE FOUR SKILLS

Four skills your people can practice Monday.

Each one lowers the divisor. Each one comes with a single thing to try in the next client meeting.

1

Ask, Don’t Answer

Win the question by asking it.

This is the one ambitious professionals find hardest, and the one that changes the most. The default move for someone smart is to race to the answer. The prize is being the person the client trusts to help figure out what the question is. Win the question first. The answer can wait.

TRY IT

When a client asks you something, ask one question back before you answer.

2

Listen to Learn

Listen to understand, not to reply.

Charles Duhigg sorts important conversations into three kinds, and it’s easy to answer the wrong one. What loses trust isn’t the wrong information. It’s defaulting to practical advice when someone needs to be heard.

Practical

They want help with a problem.

Emotional

They need to be heard.

Identity

They’re working out their future.

TRY IT

Before you reply, name which of the three conversations you’re in.

3

Trust Framing

Frame the problem with the client. Don’t just record it.

Name the problem out loud, in their words, so they feel understood before you offer a single solution. A client who feels understood will follow you into the hard parts. A client who feels processed keeps you at arm’s length.

TRY IT

End your next discovery call with ‘Let me see if I have this right,’ then say the problem back in their words.

4

Moments of Trust

Build trust in the moments things go wrong.

In every important client relationship, a handful of specific moments decide whether trust is built or lost. The asshole version reaches for the deck. The ally version slows down, names what’s happening, and chooses generosity over self-protection.

TRY IT

Deliver the bad news before the client finds it. Early beats polished.

When you’re listening to reload, your client can tell.

THE FOUR SKILLS

Four skills your people can practice Monday.

Each one lowers the divisor. Each one comes with a single thing to try in the next client meeting.

1

Ask, Don’t Answer

Win the question by asking it.

This is the one ambitious professionals find hardest, and the one that changes the most. The default move for someone smart is to race to the answer. The prize is being the person the client trusts to help figure out what the question is. Win the question first. The answer can wait.

TRY IT

When a client asks you something, ask one question back before you answer.

2

Listen to Learn

Listen to understand, not to reply.

Charles Duhigg sorts important conversations into three kinds, and it’s easy to answer the wrong one. What loses trust isn’t the wrong information. It’s defaulting to practical advice when someone needs to be heard.

Practical

They want help with a problem.

Emotional

They need to be heard.

Identity

They’re working out their future.

TRY IT

Before you reply, name which of the three conversations you’re in.

3

Trust Framing

Frame the problem with the client. Don’t just record it.

Name the problem out loud, in their words, so they feel understood before you offer a single solution. A client who feels understood will follow you into the hard parts. A client who feels processed keeps you at arm’s length.

TRY IT

End your next discovery call with ‘Let me see if I have this right,’ then say the problem back in their words.

4

Moments of Trust

Build trust in the moments things go wrong.

In every important client relationship, a handful of specific moments decide whether trust is built or lost. The asshole version reaches for the deck. The ally version slows down, names what’s happening, and chooses generosity over self-protection.

TRY IT

Deliver the bad news before the client finds it. Early beats polished.

When you’re listening to reload, your client can tell.

WHAT THIS ISN’T

Three things this is not.

Field-tested craft, not consulting buzzword soup.

A personality test

Skills, not types. Anyone can practice them, starting with the next meeting.

About being nicer

Nice without framing is just agreeable. Clients pay for judgment.

A quick fix

One behavior at a time, counted and followed up. That’s how it sticks.

Start Winning the Question.

Start Winning the Question.

FOR LEADERS

Bring it to your team

A two-hour Trust Skills Session built on your people’s real client situations. Fits the offsite already on your calendar.

Plan your session

FOR YOU

Find your growth skill

The trust skills quiz. Nine real client moments, two minutes, one skill to work on first.

Take the quiz

Or go deeper in the book: From Asshole to Ally: Why Ambitious Professionals Lose Trust and How to Earn It Back