Clients don’t often tell you what’s going on behind the brief. When one does, it’s a chance to understand them better.

“Honestly, things are a bit tense right now.”

It’s tempting to relate (“I’ve been there”) or to help right away (“Want me to pull together a quick plan?”). Both come from a good place. But both move the conversation to you before you know what’s really going on.

Try this: when a client opens up, ask one follow-up about what they just said before you share anything of your own.

• Use their words. “Tense how?”

• Listen for which conversation you’re in. Practical (deadlines, budget, results), emotional (the pressure they feel), or career (what this means for them). Often it’s more than one.

• Match your next question to it. Practical: “What needs to happen, and by when?” Emotional: “That sounds like a lot. How are you doing with it?” Career: “What’s riding on this for you?”

• Then, if it helps, explore a trust frame (that’s the next Try This).

More on this skill: Listen to Learn: Slow Down and Hear What You Don’t Know

What’s the best moment you’ve ever had building deeper trust with a client, and why did it happen? Email me at scott@winthequestion.com.

Try This comes every two weeks: one client situation and one thing to try. Get it in your inbox.

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